downbeatshinobi:

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_{He contemplated whether or not to tell her why he was late,}

_{If I tell her I slept in she won’t stop yelling but if I don’t say anything she’ll probably try and hit me, it’s not worth the pain…}

_{“I—Uh, was…” Pausing for a moment and placing a lollipop in his mouth, “I wasn’t sure whether I should get a cherry lollipop or a grape one, but I decided on the cherry one…”}

While she wasn’t surprised in the slightest she had to applaud him for coming up with the worlds most shittiest excuse. He’d have to better in order to stave off her wrath.

                “Are you fucking kidding me?

                                 You’re gonna have a mouthful

                                                                     of cavities one day…”

Damn indecisive fucktard.